


Strictly Professional

by dumbhuman



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:49:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dumbhuman/pseuds/dumbhuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Rachel’s storyline in the Friends episode “The One with Rachel’s Assistant.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strictly Professional

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr in May 2013

Chris couldn’t believe it. He had been _promoted!_ He was no longer Chris Colfer, editorial assistant and overall runner for the higher-ups at a huge publishing firm. No, he was now Chris Colfer, _assistant editor_. Sure, publishing hadn’t been his first career choice, but he liked what he did. He may have put his own writing on the back burner as his job became more trying, but chunks of _The Land of Stories_ were still on his hard drive, buried but there.

As he finished putting his meager belongings into the box he had commandeered from the mail room, he looked around his empty desk with a happy sigh that morphed into a giggle. This was actually happening. When he came into work tomorrow, he would officially be an editor. He was working his way up the corporate ladder, and it felt wonderful. He couldn’t _wait_ to call Ashley!

-

“So, have you seen your new office?”

“Oh my god, Ash, it’s amazing! I mean, the window looks out on an alley, and the people living in the building across from me really need to invest in a set of curtains, but it’s so much better than that tiny-ass desk I’ve been at for the past nine months!”

Chris kept the phone against his ear with his shoulder as he opened the beeping microwave, removing the reheated leftovers. Not the healthiest meal, but better than takeout again.

“Speaking of that tiny-ass desk, will you have your own assistant? If the new guy’s as hot as you, you’re in business. Or, y’know, you could introduce him to me.”

Leave it to Ashley to make everything about a date.

“Yes, I will be getting an assistant. Which…wow, that’s weird to think about. But slow down, miss matchmaker. I’m not going to pick someone based on how hot they are. I’m a _professional_ now. Brains before beauty.”

“Yeah, yeah. You might be some kind of saint, but I still want to get laid. Just let me know if you snag a cute one, because I call dibs.”

Chris laughed as he grabbed a fork and leaned against the counter in his kitchen. Maybe he could use this raise to get an actual table. Hunching over the coffee table was doing nothing for his back.

“If you say so, Ash. I’ll keep you posted. Anyway, I need to eat so I can reread that email about the assistant interviews tomorrow. My first assignment is to come up with questions to ask them.” He heard Ashley draw a breath, but cut off her retort before she could vocalize it. “No, that will not include relationship status. Really, Ashley, you need to stop depending on me to set you up.”

“Whatever, Colfer. Congrats, by the way. And good luck.”

“Thanks Ash – fuck, I thought this would have cooled down by now – I should go. Love you!”

“Love you too, Chris.”

He hung up the phone at grabbed his laptop. He might as well get some work done while his food cooled.

 

**To: ccolfer@jandjpub.com**

**From: hsmith@jandjpub.com**

**Mr. Colfer,**

**Congratulations on your promotion to assistant editor! We in the department recognize that you are a talented, hard-working, organized young man, and we are confident that you will do well in this position. Attached are two résumés from potential assistants. They will both be coming in to interview sometime between 10 and 11 tomorrow morning. If neither of the candidates seem right for the job, let us know and we will continue searching for applicants. If you have any questions, feel free to email me. I look forward to your work, and, once again, congratulations.**

**Sincerely,**

**Helen Smith**

**Executive Editor**

 

Chris smiled as he opened the attachments. This was going to be interesting.

-

“And you were at this job for four years?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

Chris glanced over the résumé one last time before returning his gaze to the middle-aged woman seated across from him.

“Well, this is all very impressive, Jane. I have another applicant to see, but I’ll let you know my decision by tonight.” He reached across his desk – _his desk! In his office!_ – to shake her hand. “Thank you for coming in, it was nice to meet you.”

Once the woman had left and closed the door, Chris sank into his chair and sighed. That went better than expected. She seemed to be a really good fit, especially if the résumé of the second applicant, Daisy, was anything to go by. Now all Chris had to do was get through this next interview in one piece and then he could call it a day.

Chris was jolted out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. He scrambled to get his feet off of the desk and smoothed down his tie.

“Come in!”

The door opened to reveal an attractive young man.

“Can I help you?”

“Oh, sorry. I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Darren Criss.”

The attractive man – Darren – turned around to close the door, and _wow_ did he have a nice ass.

 _Focus Colfer._ “Oh, are you Daisy’s brother or something? Is she not able to make it?”

“Daisy? No, I’m here for the interview? For the assistant job?”

Chris tried not to be distracted by how adorable it was when his nose scrunched up in confusion. “I’m sorry, the résumé I received has ‘Daisy Criss’ as the applicant.” He handed over the piece of paper, containing the shiver that threatened to overtake him when their hands brushed.

“But how – _shit_ , I guess I didn’t catch all of Joey’s “corrections.” My roommate decided it would be funny to, um, _edit_ my résumé after I accidentally turned all of his underwear pink.”

Chris couldn’t help but snort at that, but hurried to compose himself.

“Okay, Mr. Criss-”

“Call me Darren.”

“Alright Darren, now that everything has been cleared up, how about we get this interview going.” _Though if your résumé is anything to go by, this shouldn’t take long._

“Look, I know I haven’t worked in an office before, and I really don’t have a lot of experience, but-”

“What are you talking about? You’ve got three years as a landscaper,” _Do_ not _start picturing him with his shirt off, Christopher._ “Two whole summers at TGI Friday’s.” _The cutest waiter there no doubt._

Darren laughed. “Well yeah, it might not look so good on paper, but I promise I’m not some deadbeat. I’m an actor, and a musician actually. Those jobs were just a way to pay the rent. I’m a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn.”

Chris smiled and nodded, glancing back down at the rather empty résumé. What was he going to do?

-

At the knock on his door, Chris closed his laptop and leapt up to answer it. Ashley walked in carrying a pizza box, Lea not far behind with a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke. Once they were all settled around the coffee table, Ashley got right down to business.

“So, how’d the interviews go?”

Chris held up his finger in the universal ‘hold on’ sign as he swallowed his bite of pizza. “Well, there were two applicants. The first one had great recommendations and a lot of experience, and then there’s this guy…”

“Ooh, what about him?”

Chris sighed. “I love him.”

His friends looked at each other, obviously not expecting that outburst.

“It’s just…he’s so pretty I want to _cry_. I don’t know what to do. What do I do?”

Lea grabbed his hand. “Honey, you know what to do. You hire the first one! You don’t hire an assistant because they’re cute, you hire them because they’re qualified.”

Chris nodded. That made sense. “Yeah, I guess I’ll call Jane tonight.”

“Hold on just a minute, baby. How cute are we talking?”

Lea scoffed. “What, do you think he took pictures or something?”

“Actually…” Chris blushed as he opened his computer, showing his friends the Facebook profile that he had been staring at for an hour.

“Damn, he _is_ cute. If he’s not gay, can you give him my number?”

“I have to admit he’s attractive, but Chris, it’s totally unprofessional.”

He looked at the extremely attractive profile picture for a few more seconds – how could anyone’s eyes be that many colors at once? – before closing his laptop. “I guess you’re right. I’ll be right back, I’m going to call Jane.” He got up and walked into his bedroom. Oh well, he’d do the right thing.

-

Chris looked up at a knock on his office door. Only it wasn’t Jane like he’d expected…

“Oh, hello Darren, can I help you with something?”

Darren looked up at him through his (inhumanly long) eyelashes. “I just wanted to thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday.”

Chris smiled. “Don’t be silly. I’d never laugh in your face!”

“I’m guessing you hired somebody?”

“Well…” Chris hated that he caused the hurt expression on that gorgeous face.

“Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me.” Darren turned to leave.

“Where are you going? I hired you!”

“What?”

_WHAT?_

“Uh, yeah! You’re my new assistant!”

_What the hell are you doing Colfer?_

“I am?” Darren’s eyes lit up when he smiled.

_Ah, that’s what you’re doing._

“Alright, first thing I need you to do is to go downstairs and find a woman named Jane and tell her to go home.”

“Okay! Believe me, you won’t regret this.”

Chris waited until Darren was gone before pulling out his phone and shooting a text to Ashley and Lea.

_What the hell had he done?_

He closed his eyes and tried to come to terms with what just happened. He was startled back to reality by the sound of his phone vibrating on his desk. It was a text from Lea:

‘You do realize that you can’t date him if he’s your assistant, right?’

 _Shit_. Well this was going to be interesting.

 

 


End file.
